As usual days there were usual talks and updates on the group about everyone’s whereabouts. This particular group is special because it only brings out the best in each one, it doesn’t judge you at any moment and you are sure you will get the fairest advice here. Like all days we talked and told different routine stuff laughing, sharing and loving. I was off to Kerala, Fareya submitting her thesis, Jowairiah busy with kids, studies and so was everyone else occupied in one thing or the other. And then she messaged us to pray for her because she wasn’t feeling very well. She informed of the miscarriage she had and how she was now travelling to Delhi from her in-laws’ place. I was low on the network so just read and could not reply. Rest of them replied to her and assured she is going to be fine. It was just another message where we share and pray and things go fine. But this time it wasn’t the plan, next evening almost 24 hrs later I opened facebook only to find a post that Khursheed had left for her holy abode. To my dismay, it wasn’t acceptable and I picked my phone quickly to message in the group hoping it was not my Khursheed. But He had bigger plans, and we had lost her. Little would my words do justice to what the loss meant to us or to her family, it only left everyone numb enough to even register what just happened.
I cannot begin writing how much I loved her, how dear she was to my heart or no matter if I had not seen her in years, her image of a happy and ever smiling face lasts in front of me as her only image. I can recall the first time I met her, I went to our temporary accommodations where she was residing and I posed to be a senior only to rag her for fun. She did figure that out in a while and laughed so loud at it that I loved her more. Later to know that she became my first roommate as soon as we were allotted the rooms permanently. So officially becoming the first member of my family away from home. We went on to clean the room together, arranging beds and tables for the rest of our roommates to arrive. I never knew I would even write all this but now I want to, maybe all the details that my forgetful brain could remember, in her memory.
One thing extremely noticeable about her was she wore the smile of a kid from a distance whenever she would see you. And then she would adore you for absolutely negligible things making you feel great about urself every now and then. Sometimes she would get upset and come sit ask for your advice. And sometimes she would do the same mistake again only to come and tell you ‘Gussa mat hona’. Her laughter at small gestures was adorable, to say the least. And all those who have known her would undeniably say she was one of the most innocent people ever met. If you could call her beautiful inside out, indeed she was. Only that she didn’t know how beautiful she was. I am sure you were as beautiful as Heena Aapi or Moon Aapi (Her elder sisters). I am sure they would agree. Khursheed held a special place in everyone’s heart she met. She touched everyone’s lives very closely. There are very few people in this world who have a heart as pure as her- having no hard feelings against anyone, admiration, care, love, selflessly sharing attitude, genuinely wishing best for everyone.
When she wanted to move to another hostel in 12th from our hostel, I remember her being so tensed about disclosing this to us because she needed to hit reading room more than any of us ever did. And when she told us, like very mature, adult people, we accepted it without inhibitions. Or maybe we knew she would keep coming back to us the same way. And trust me latter happened to be true. Her room never really changed and she kept coming back to Old Wahidia Room No. 6 as always, only laughing at herself more to have even moved out in the first place.
She was our very own Shakespeare with all the dialogues on her tips. Every time she would enter the room, she would chant ‘Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears…I come here…’ And then you scold her for anything and she would chant again ‘My heart bleeds…’ She was a woman with a soft heart yet strong beliefs making her all the way more special. Taking things so easy on herself when you point something she needs to work on, accepting her flaws, and working for the betterment. Whenever we used to chat in the group she would always mistype words making us laugh at nothing and of course her. But my loveliest Khursheed laughed at herself with us. She was adorable in every little way.
I remember her talking loudly in the room and me getting angry at her coz I would wake up from the sleep, but then she would hug and kiss me as a way to apologize. Only that she never stopped talking loudly, and then her arguments about having body ache just not to go to school. But at the same time, putting day and night’s hard work to crack the medical entrance. I knew her befriending many people in the hostel, from batch mates to juniors to seniors than anyone of us could and becoming dear to all of them so easily. I am sure she made a lot of difference in everyone’s life and taught all of us some very valuable lessons in most innocent ways.
She was brave and loving. I remember her love for her father and brother and how much it hurt her to lose her father but what a brave front she had put to it. She was undoubtedly firm on faith and that is what kept her going. I am glad she chose right people in her journey and left behind the right ones to pray for her. I am thankful to Allah to have given me a chance of knowing her. If I will be half as pious as her it would be a blessing. I pray for her because she loved me with all her heart in my ups and downs, for she stood brave, for she was the most loving, hardworking, deserving person. She made a beautiful wife and a doting mother and it is hard to say what family must be going through now but I pray they find their share of peace and love.
I don’t know how to even put into words what has she left behind with us in our hearts but it is something we are going to treasure in her loving memory. I hope and pray where she is now is a much better place than this world. Missing would be a small word to put what it feels like to even think of her being gone and no longer commenting on that group. But what she has left behind is so much of goodness, it is definitely going to last long.
May your smile never fade, I love you a lot. We love you a lot Farah !!
P.S. I still have the card and gift you got me in Delhi. I am going to miss you sharing my blog posts always my fellow writer. The love you left will keep it all going. Rest in peace, my dearest friend.
Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un
“We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return.”